A life in the day

A large drop in blood sugar this morning. I wonder if that has to do with with eating dinner early and having no snack later, or if I ate better yesterday, or if the medicine (Glucotrol) is to some extent cumulative, or, most likely, if this is just part of the vagaries of my personal biology.

I feel like a daytrader, attuned to every minute change in some silly indicator.

Amy was talking about this with someone who told her that stress often brings on diabetes. I wonder if the last six month of working at DST Output was partly responsible.

Children: I’ve talked to Teddy about this already. He understands that diabetes is going to mean changes for the entire family, especially as I do most of the cooking. But I don’t think it’s sunk in entirely. I’m worried that he might get too worried about me. I don’t know how to explain that my diabetes is not life-threatening. If he hasn’t thought along those lines, I don’t want to suggest it and make him worry, but if he is brooding about it, I want to reassure him right away. And he’s eight. Kayleigh isn’t even five; I really don’t have a clue how much to explain to her. Both kids have seen enough animals die to be concerned by death. And Teddy worries about every sniffle in an animal; I think he’s a little afraid to get close to another animal that might die on him.

Blood sugar: Sunday pm: 238, Monday am: 157.

Well, one minor hope dashed. I was hoping to see a very steady decline in my blood-sugar from measurement to measurement. I knew it was unrealistic, but if the fantasy of mis-diagnosis were real and the high blood sugar was some aberration, it might quickly return to reasonable levels. It was up this morning. That seems strange; I thought morning would always be the lowest point of the day, but maybe the medicine, which Dr. Lampugnale told me would peak in early to mid-afternoon, is having a greater effect than diet and daily rhythms.

One trip through the grocery store was disheartening, looking at all the things I like which are either off-limits or severely restricted. But Amy points out that we need another trip through to see what I can have and what new things we’ll be adding to our diets.

Blood sugar: Saturday pm: 233, Sunday am: 268.

Working on my diet was not bad on the first day. But then it never is the first day.

Dr. Lampugnale asked about a lot of symptoms that I didn’t have, and seemed surprised that I didn’t, things like blurred vision, fatigue, problems healing. Even the frequent urination and increased fluid consumption that drove me to get checked out seem to have abated. On the other hand my blood pressure is too high, and the blood tests don’t lie. I know that I’m still hoping to find a mis-diagnosis, that in a week or two my blood sugar will be in normal range and the doctor will say “Oh, it turn out your problem was only X” (for some value of X much less than diabetes.)

It’s not realistic; I’m sure it’s a false hope. But no point denying that I still am hoping.

Meanwhile, I’m aiming for a target blood sugar level of 120. (I think the units are milligrams per deciliter, but don’t quote me.) On Tuesday, for my initial appointment, it was way up at 340. Friday morning at the doctor’s office it was 270. That’s a long way to go, and I’m on a daily pill to help reduce that. I need to watch out for low blood-sugar reactions now, though. I’m afraid that at some point the thought of some sweet or another will drive me to drop my blood sugar below a healthy level in order to justify eating it.

Blood sugar: Friday pm: 262, Saturday am: 245.

Well, I finally have a weblog up and running. No idea so far what it will be about. Probably nothing, like all the others. I’ll likely tweak the look and feel this weekend. I’m using the WordPress software, and so far it looks nicer than my minimal attempts several years ago with GreyMatter and Moveable Type.

There is a reason for this first entry, though. I’ve had the software up for more than a week, but haven’t bothered posting anything. I didn’t have anything particular to say. Unfortunately, now I do.

Today I was diagnosed as diabetic.

This is not the really scary, Type 1, diabetes; I have no need for insulin shots. But I am going to have to radically change my diet. For the moment at least I need to avoid all simple sugars. I also have to start reducing my carbohydrates. I’m going to have to test my blood sugar twice per day.

Dr. Lampugnale gave me a great deal of information, and will set me up for a class to learn a great deal more. I’ve got one question so far which is really bothering me. I will try to chase it down before the class, for it’s pretty fundamental. Dr. L told me that I was a diabetic for life. If the diagnosis has nothing to do with my insulin levels, nothing to do with any real symptoms except those that are direct results of high blood sugars, am I still considered diabetic if my blood sugars get to and remain in normal range? I’ll see what I can find.

Things I know I’m going to miss:

• Orange juice… big time
• Ice cream
• Blueberry pancakes