| B | I | N | G | O |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Best In Class | Gap Analysis | Impact(ing) | Pushback | Time To Market |
| Boil the Ocean | Deep Dive | Monetize | Run The Numbers | We |
| Backward Compatible | Deliverable | BULLSHIT BINGO (free square) |
Return On Investment (ROI) | Think Outside The Box |
| Bandwidth | Etched In Stone | Going Forward | Quality-driven | Sundown |
| Client Focused | Driven | Market Window | Partner (with) | Top Down |
(See also Potential Terms for an expanded list, so far not selected for inclusion.)
- Action Item
(n) A hot potato passed around until one unfortunate sucker is stuck with it. The goal of that sucker is to make everyone forget what was committed to, and if ever reminded of it, to point out that the work is dependent on someone else's Action Item. With proper handling, said sucker need never to actually perform any Action whatsoever.
- Actionable
(adj) Someone – not me – can take take responsibility for ensuring that something happens.
Anything really. We're not picky around here.
- Alliance
(n) The union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other's pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.
- Backward Compatible
(adj) Your 20V brushless, cordless, lightweight, compact, ergonomic electric screwdriver with high-speed transmission, 600 inch-pounds torque, and single-sleeve ratcheting chuck can still be used to bang a nail.
- Bandwidth
(n) Remember when you had to poke an extra hole in your belt? It's like that, but for data.
- Best Practice
(n) How the other guy should be acting.
- Bottom Up
(adj) Your perspective: you do all the work, figure everything out, and the boss takes credit.
The bosses' perspective: This has something to do with caning. Let's just leave it at that.
- Buzz
(n) The noise hornets make before swarming in your face.
- Corporate Values
(n) Ha.
Ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
- Etched In Stone
(adj) A rule that you may not break, not if you value your life, but that the bosses are free to break upon any random whim.
- Facilitate
(vt) Ease
- Fast Track
(vt) To rush an initiative toward implementation, without any time to check for long-term consequences.
Or grammar.
- Give 110%
(vi) Work your butt off for a meager salary and when that is simply not enough, promise seven years of servitude from your first-born child.
- Going Forward
(adv) Going backward... backwards.
- Knowledge Base
(n) The medium in which ideas grow.
Ingredients:
- workers' brains
Equipment:
- a blender
- Leverage
(vt) Use
- Outsource
(vt) To acknowledge that your people are not skilled enough, experienced enough, driven enough, organized enough, or, mainly, cheap enough, to get the job done.
- Paradigm
(n) Worker: ""Look, this is a very serious term in the philosophy of science. Read Kuhn's The Structure of Scientific Revolutions. It is not some pop-sci trend that..." "
Boss: "Listen, dweeb, no one gives a shit. Here, a paradigm shift just means that I've changed my mind. Got it?"
- Partner (with)
(vi) Find someone to blame.
- Proactive
(adj) When you notice the problem you introduced before your boss does, you can say, "Hey, we see this issue coming; here's how we plan on dealing with it." Instead of getting that talk, you will receive a pat on the head and a certificate that says "Proactive".
For context, please see the following chart:
Amateursluggish Prosluggish Amateuractive Proactive - Run The Numbers
(vi) Make shit up.
Many scholars believe this to be a corruption of the old English ruin the numbers.
- Solution(ing)
(vi) Meeting and discussing a problem over the course of weeks, months, or years, without ever
- solving it
- creating even the concept of a plan for solving it
- agreeing on what the actual problem is
- escaping the conclusion that we know the solution and everyone else in the meeting is an idiot
- admitting the basic humanity of those we meet with
- Stakeholders
(n) Vampire hunters.
- Sundown
(vt) To bring the usage of a system down to 20% of its previous value, and then promise for each of the next seven years to be finished by Q2 of the following year. Management views this as already an 80% win. Software Development views this as job security.
- Utilize
(vt) Use
- We
(pro) You
Terms still waiting for a definition
- Benchmark
- Best In Class
- Blue Sky
- Boil the Ocean
- Branding
- Client Focused
- Core Competency
- Customer-centric
- Data Mining
- Deep Dive
- Deliverable
- Drill Down
- Driven
- Ecosystem
- Empower(ment)
- Gap Analysis
- Goal-oriented
- Impact(ing)
- Laser focus
- Market Leader
- Market Window
- Mind Share
- Mission Critical
- Monetize
- Networking
- Off-the-shelf
- Out-of-the-box
- Player
- Profitability
- Pushback
- Quality-driven
- Raise the bar
- Resources
- Result-driven
- Return On Investment (ROI)
- Sales-driven
- Service Oriented
- Skill Set
- Synergy
- Target Audience
- Team Building
- Team Player
- Think Outside The Box
- Time To Market
- Top Down
- Total Cost Of Ownership (tco)
- Value Added
- Walk The Talk
- Win-win